What do Shamwow and Daoism have in common?

So many things have happened! Some fiscal some not. One of the non-fiscal items on my menu today is perhaps the biggest news ever in life. But we shall get to that later. First off I must say that we have a new president. That's right folks. I was very confused as I watched the inauguration because I saw Mr. Obama and that very bland man holding their hands up and I could not help and think: "When are they going to high five?" They never did "high five" and to be honest I was disappointed. But my good friend soon explained to me that he was "oathin' it up." I felt quite silly then and I made a nervous laugh.

But on to why you're here: your fiscal situation. WaMu is a scam. Wells Fargo is better. Your best bet is keeping money under your mattress. If you live in the woods like I do (I'm a proud Daoist!) you are often running from forest fires or wolves or wild jackals and you forget to get your money. My life savings has been lost 17 times this way. But you know what, it really is worth it. When you see the hungry look in that jackal's eyes, you can't help but think: "Wow. I could be looking into the dead and cold eyes of a WaMu employee. This jackal is my ol' college room-mate compared to them!" Even though the neighborhood kids think I'm an ol' Boo Radley, I tell them that their lemonade stands are not going to get them anywhere fiscally, so I take (or rather seize!) the lemonade and I drink it all!

Ah, yes! The most important news ever in life:

The Shamwow guy is getting married. O.M.G.

I was watching Leno and this card named Jimmy Fallon (He did a movie with Latifah)

said that Mr. Terrence L. Shamwow is getting married.

This is fiscally inappropriate. The Shamwow business is booming now... but really?

He cannot fiscally support his wife.

No. No. No.

I am appalled.

I'm just here to help you with your fiscal situation.

My Fiesta Day

Today is fiesta day. If you are confused at what I mean by this, it's o.k. Fiesta day is everything that other days are not. It is the day for possibilities, the day for social experiments : the day for salsa and slang. Oh hey? What do you mean by salsa? That sounds exotic? What does it look like? I'll save you the 10 seconds of your life searching for salsa on wikipedia and spare you a picture:

Just my pet Alfo (Alfonso) enjoying salsa. LOL what a tool!

But really fiesta day is my life. I also like to use "slang" on this blessed day as well. I will use some in a paragraph for you:

Today I was with my tool Alfo, and he dared to call me an arsewipe. Then I told that schwine that that's bollocks and he's just upset and he's talking out of his wazoo. Then I looked back and saw him light my pad on fire. WIZARD! Yampy old bastard. Damn commie.

This is based on a true story. Even though Alfo is the biggest crack-whore in the world, I guess he's still my cuz in the end. 

Overall, it's been a great fiesta day. I hope you participate as well.

Catch you on the flip side, I suppose.

An Oddity Named Destino. And an Odd Liza Minnelli.

Sometimes I see movies that bring a tear to my eye. But sometimes not. Cinema is not what it used to be, but now it's even better with artistic films like the Hannah Montana movie. Miley (or rather Hannah) has a 67 year old boyfriend and she is starting to resemble a young Liza Minnelli. I have photographic evidence:

A 15 year-old Miley

A young Liza Minnelli

It's pictures like this that really make me want to give her a knuckle sand*which. 

Since we're on the subject of Disney cracktors and visionaries here, let's talk about ol' Wally Disney's company. Who in their right mind would release a "classic" like "the Country Bears," but not release a short that the artist, Salvador Dali, made for Walt himself?

It's no lie. I was at the LACMA a bit ago at the Salvador Dali exhibit and came across an oddity. An oddity named Destino. Dali made the short "Destino" for Disney, but it was never released because Disney didn't "have the money." I get being fiscal, but that's just ridic.  Only now has Disney released it, but still, the popularity and attention is not all there.

He was probably too busy building himself a theme park. But the fact of the matter is: I am bringing the short to light!

DESTINO!