I'll bring the potato salad cuz it's a potluck

You want to know the deal? Well, I'll tell it to ya straight: the Grammys. The people that were nominated...well if I was hiring the performers it would have been 50+ times better. This is what the invite would have looked like:

Hello. You are invited to the Grammys. I hope you can come. It is potluck. 

There are many current/hip performers. Here I have listed them:

Tokio Hotel

Ashlee Simpson

Zac Efron 

An extra from the Broadway hit "CATS"

Bill Cosby/Bing Crosby

Vanilla Ice

Nick Lachey

Sanjaya Malakar

Tito e Tato (Dario+Roberta)

I Pquardo

This is just a sneek peek mind you. I hope you can make it. The cost is $35 worth of potato salad (I will judge them and then choose the winner by a letter in the mail). The Grammys will be O.K. Try not to show up late. I will greet you at the front. If you can't come that's ok. 

Thanks, 

Me (Director of the Grammys)

This is the best lineup ever. If the people of the Grammys would realize that they're doing it all wrong, maybe the Jonas Brothers wouldn't forget their lines. 

Katy Perry had a fruit basket explode on the stage but she just went along with it and called it her "set." If I was directing it, her set would have had cherry chapstick everywhere like in the song. Now THAT would be a spectacle. 

Now if I was running the Academy Awards it would most certainly not be a potluck. Mickey Rourke would spike the punch and Sean Penn would bring milk. Meryl Streep would doubt that I could run the show and I would say, "You know what Meryl? I really doubt you! I am sitting you next to Kramer, but I will warn you I invited his brother and they are both nominated. It will be Kramer vs. Kramer at this ceremony. It's been a long day and I just want to get back to my prairie home, companion. Just give me the quick adaptation of your speech, but ultimately you should speak to Sophie, because it's her choice who wins." 

Then she would be speechless.

With another fiscally appropriate post, bye.